Late Night Thoughts...

Having one of those nights when I can't sleep...just can't turn my mind off.

Two more weeks of work left (plus a final on-call weekend), then the paychecks stop.  So does the health insurance.  Going to have to file for my Social Security.  Need to find out about COBRA insurance, but have serious doubts about whether I can afford it.  Two years until I am eligible for Medicare.  My Social Security alone isn't going to be enough to subsist on.  Jack will have his VA benefit and Social Security...but he will also have alimony to pay.  Still waiting to see what happens re: his ex's health insurance.  Will be a real kick in the teeth if he is forced to pay for hers while I can't afford any!  Worried that the courts may take half his income for her...she could end up with more income than he has!  Men do not fare well in this state when it comes to divorce.

We are getting ready to make a huge life change.  It is exciting to contemplate, but scary too.  Wondering what expenses will be like and how well we will be able to manage.  Live safe or take a chance?  We are opting to take a chance. I do fine with some risks, but financial risks are hard for me.  We could try and live a quiet, safe life in Wilmington.  I would be near Becca and my beloved Katie and Jackson, but we wouldn't have much going on in our life.  It's not likely there would be money for travel once we paid all our basic living expenses.  I don't want to waste away on the couch.  So we are opting to take a chance...take the risk...and put adventure into our later years.  Exciting but scary.

Keeps me awake some nights... 

Catching Up...Part II

With April came our long-awaited California trip.  Ten days on the west coast...and meeting Jack's family.  We flew into San Francisco, picked up our rental car and headed north.  Instead of the small car we reserved, they offered an "opportunity" to upgrade to a Jeep Liberty...at a price of course.  Jack jumped at it and fell in love with that small red SUV.

Jack, Stacey and Jack

On our first day there, we saw Jack's son Jack, along with his wife Candice and their two daughters, Chanoa almost seven and Sienna the newest addition to the family at only two months old.  Later that day his daughter Stacey, her husband Brian and their daughter Kayla (almost ten) arrived.  We all went to dinner at Murillo's Mexican restaurant...a place Jack had good memories of...but the food was disappointing.  After months of hearing how West Coast Mexican food was so much better than East Coast Mexican, it tasted no better than what I've had 'back East' and not as good as my favorite place!  Jack said the place was not like he remembered.  But...we had a great first night with kids and grandkids!

Jack's brother Melvin and his wife Robyn held a family get together at their house and Jack's sister Mardell (who I met the previous summer) and their brother Terry came up from Fresno.  Sadly, Jack started coming down with something and had a hard time keeping up with all the activity and visits.  I felt just awful for Jack, but I had a great time meeting and getting to know everyone.  They liked me and I liked them...a success all around.  Now he had to keep me!

We visited the Jelly Belly Factory and I bought candy and 'stuffies" to take back to Katie and Jackson.  We also spent a day driving up through Napa to Calistoga, had a nice lunch and saw some beautiful country.  Jack introduced me to his favorite steak place, The Cattleman. We had an excellent dinner there with Melvin and Robyn. Made him promise to take me there again on our next visit!  On our way back to the airport, we did a quick visit to San Francisco and walked around Pier 39 on Fisherman's Wharf, but by then Jack was feeling miserable.  We stayed just long enough to buy some souvenirs for my grandkids and have some dinner before going on to the airport.  It was a long red-eye flight back home for a very sick Jack.

After we got home, I took Jack to Urgent Care and we found out he had pneumonia.  He spent two weeks at home recovering and was still tired and coughing when he returned to work.  It was at least a month before he was over it.  This was just the first of his summer health problems.  June brought a hernia repair and another few weeks of recovery, but only one of them at home.  In July it was cataract surgery.  Then there was a diagnosis of anemia thrown in somewhere along the line and a GI work-up.  They found some asymptomatic gall bladder problems in July that became troublesome.  By September he was feeling bad, ended up in the ER and went straight to the OR for an unscheduled cholecystectomy and another week at home plus several more to recuperate.

Now all that's left are the medical bills...

Next up...a job?

A Day (or Three) At the Races...

A year ago, if someone had said to me that I would be going to races and liking it, I would have said they were out of their ever-loving minds!  But, to say that Jack loves racing would be an understatement.  It's in his blood. He even loves the smell of methanol (I got a strong whiff and it burned my eyes and my throat)!  Anyway, Jack's passion is racing and I want to be able to share it with him...so I went to my first car race last weekend.

We went to the Charlotte Dirt Track for The World of Outlaws Finals. Three nights of qualifying, heat races and main races featuring Sprint Cars, Late Models and Modifieds. Mind you, most all of this was Greek to me, but now I actually know what I'm talking about...a little!

I learned how just cold it can be up in the grandstands when the wind is blowing. I learned just how much red dirt one can inhale when the track is dry and said wind is blowing. I learned the difference between Late Models and Modifieds (I already knew about Sprint Cars). I ate track food...and paid $4 for a bottle of water, a Diet Coke, a hot dog or a slice of pizza, $6 for a hamburger or a beer...and liked it. We had passes to go into the Pits; seeing the cars close up was very cool. I am now the proud owner of a World of Outlaws hoodie, goggles (for the red dirt) and ear protectors (race cars are very loud). I learned that racing is more than just driving fast...and that watching it is fun and exciting!

I'm even looking forward to our next race trip! 

San Francisco, Returning Home and Clogged Pipes...

Back from my San Francisco trip for two days...and the bathroom pipes clogged again.  Steve - my good-looking plumber - came by, unclogged the pipes and once again refused payment.  He's going to come back next week with a camera and see if he can find the root of the problem.  There's got to be a reason the pipes keep clogging.  I hope we can get this taken care of...I can't keep calling him every few days and he can't keep unclogging my pipes gratis.

San Francisco was nice.  Visited the Castro District and enjoyed the Different Lights Bookstore; went to Chinatown to eat Dim Sum and to North Beach to eat Italian.   Traipsed through the rain to the Japanese Tea Garden, had some tea and met a delightful young man from the Netherlands.

Johan was in the states on business and enjoying the sights.  He is 32, single and fluent in Dutch, English and German with a smattering of French.  He recently met a very nice young lady online named Eva and was hoping the separation would not thwart a budding romance as the eight hour time difference made communication difficult.  As we sat and shared stories of hopeful romance found online, I found myself wondering if an American that age would be as comfortable chatting with a sixty year old woman as he was.

Also visited the famed City Lights Bookstore, prowled the Ferry Building on the Embarcadero, walked Fisherman's Wharf and Ghiradelli Square, rode the trolleys and the cable cars, and toured Alcatraz as described in my previous post.  It rained a lot and the temps stayed between forty-five and sixty.

It was a nice trip, but I was ready to come home.  Rather unusual for me.  I'm usually gypsy-like and never quite ready to go home.  This time was different.  I learned that, while I love to travel, who I am with matters more than where I go and the person I really wanted to be with was back home.

Visiting the Rock...

Took a night tour of Alcatraz tonight.  It began with a rather chilly ferry ride to the island.  The water was choppy and the winds high and I was wishing I had packed gloves and a scarf for this trip.  The island is rather forbidding looking when approached and it is easy to believe that "no one escapes from Alcatraz."  After disembarking we are led up to the main cell house.  It is a one quarter mile walk and the equivalent of a thirteen story climb.  No surprise that my legs ache and I'm winded.

Once in the main prison, we are issued headsets for a guided audio tour. The narration tells you where to walk, which way to turn next, what to look at and recounts Alcatraz's history complete with sound effects and the reminiscences of guards and prisoners.  I see the shower room, the library, the dining hall, several cell blocks, isolation cells, solitary confinement cells, cells that were broken out of during the great escape, the administration wing, the warden's office, the visitation area and holes in the floor from military mortar fired during a hostage taking episode that left a number of guards and prisoners dead.  I step into a regular cell and into a dark solitary confinement cell.  The whole place has a spooky feel.  Stories are retold about daily life as well as uprisings, infamous prisoners and escape attempts.  One can hear cell doors slam and lock, sirens going off and prisoners yelling during this forty-five minute tour.  It makes me want to learn more about the history of this forbidding place.

As most tours do, this one ends at the gift/souvenir shop, where I decide I must have the Alcatraz salt and pepper shakers!  Then a quarter mile hike back down to the docks, a ferry ride across the bay and a return to a comfortable hotel room.

Definitely a tour worth taking.

California, Here I Come...

I am writing this en route to San Francisco in a word document and will cut and paste later. Thirteen dollars for mile-high Wifi is skyway robbery. It is amazing (at least to me) how many people aboard have their laptops and are connected to the Internet; am I the only one who thinks the price is outrageous? It is a very full flight and I’m stuck in a middle seat. I’d probably pay thirteen dollars for the opportunity to put my legs up and stretch out!

The movie service is spotty at best and it’s a British period piece so most of the dialogue would be lost on me without my beloved closed captioning. I suppose I could take a nap, it’s 12:30 am Eastern Time, but only 9:30 pm Pacific Time and I want to sleep well tonight. I’ve read one hundred pages of my current novel, played five games of computer Solitaire (won one), two games of Free Cell (won one), had two packs of cookies and two Coke Zeros.

Are we there yet???

A Visit To PA...

Went up to Pennsylvania a couple of weeks ago to visit my niece Laura and her family.  It was a real family weekend...basketball practice, basketball games, birthday parties, piano lessons, gymnastics meets, family bowling.  It's been a lot of years since I lived life at that pace!  It was exhausting, but loads of fun.  I loved watching John and Eric at all their activities.  Each visit I get to know them a little better...still have lots of years to catch up on.  Laura's husband Martin continues to impress me with his kindness and devotion to his family...I look forward to knowing him better too as time goes on.

Laura planned a family lunch to celebrate John's recent eleventh birthday. Laura's Aunt Nancy and Uncle Roger joined us as well as my sister Amy, so we had the opportunity to visit for a couple of hours.

This visit brought with it another reunion.  I saw my niece Jill (Laura's sister) for the first time in forty years!  Needless to say she's changed a lot since she was six!!  She was in town visiting...combining a work trip with pleasure...from Colorado.  She is a warm, friendly, beautiful, high energy woman.  It felt so good to see her and hug her after all these years and to rekindle the family connection.

Of course I aways enjoy my one-on-one time with Laura...she's more like a second daughter to me than a niece. We are alike in ways and provide great sounding boards to each other. I was able to get some good perspectives on my current "man situation" from both the therapist side of her and the niece side.

Every time I visit I am swept into another pocket of family...one I have been away from for a long time.  I love it!

Another Road Trip...

Just returned from another road trip.  Went to Florida this time to visit family - Ed's brother Mike, his wife Lot, and kids Tony, Gina and Vinnie.  They live on Merritt Island, just minutes from the beach.  I often forget how much I like Florida till I arrive; there's nothing prettier than a row of stately palm trees silhouetted against a sunny blue sky.  The landscape just shouts out, "Beach!"

We started out Monday and drove to Savannah, where we had a reservation in the Historic district.  Spent some time walking along the river, bought some pralines (a favorite of mine), then headed to Uncle Bubba's for dinner.  Uncle Bubba's Oyster House is situated outside town on a marsh; there was a wait for an inside table so we took one out on the deck.  I was happily surprised to learn there are some resident cats in the vicinity of the deck and they will approach customers in the hopes of being fed.  They were the highlight of my evening!  Ed was more interestered in the grilled oysters, which came from Apalachicola and were very good!  After the oysters and a seafood dip we split a "Full Bubba" - shrimp, scallops, oysters and catch of the day - and couldn't come close to finishing it.  A nice evening in a favorite city!

Drove the rest of the way to Merritt Island the next day.  We always have a good visit with Mike and Lot and this time was no exception.  Lot's a great cook and they are both congenial hosts.  I feel very at home there.  Three year old Vinnie is a charmer and immediately jumped in the pool to show off his rather impressive swimming skills to Uncle Bud and Aunt Gail.

The plan was to just relax and visit.  Henry, their other brother, was coming over from the Gulf side for a visit on Thursday.  We would relax around the pool and feast on shrimp.  Unfortunately, Henry had a stroke on Wednesday!  After a flurry of phone calls to gather information and let other family members know, we made a plan to drive across state to see Henry.  The trip was an arduous one; Mike got lost at least three times, making the three hour drive in only four and a half hours!  On the upside, Vinnie traveled like a trooper, never once getting whiney or cranky.  Most importanly, we saw Henry - he is recovering, the few symptoms he has are expected to resolve and he returned home on Saturday.

We returned home to NC on Friday and have been spending the weekend with Ed's boys.  Tim and Alex came down from Michigan and NY to celebrate Tim's birthday, which means lots of good meals at both Mark's house and ours!

We're already planning our next trip to Merritt Island...for Thanksgiving.

A New York Reunion...

Went to New York last weekend for the TMLA Class of ‘68’s Second Annual Luncheon, a long title of my invention for a small gathering of women. I’ve never made it to previous high school reunions before, distance, money or family obligations usually being the obstacles. Money was an obstacle this year, but with the help of my old friend, Jayne, who put me up and chauffeured me around – thus saving me the cost of both a hotel and a rental car – I finally made it!

Most of us looked pretty good for our sixtieth year - a few would have been recognizable anywhere – as for the rest of us, thank goodness for name tags with our H.S. pics on them!  It was fun seeing old faces and catching up with old friends' news.  We're widowed, divorced, remarried, long-time married and single....we have grown children, teens still at home, grandchildren and no children...we're retired, still working and involuntarily unemployed.  We laughed, hugged, talked, reminisced and made plans to do it again!

I hadn't seen Jayne in twenty-five or thirty years but it didn't take long at all to fall into comfortable conversation and catch up on years of happenings.  The friends you can pick up with after years, as though you'd last visited only days or weeks ago, are the best kind!  I'm resolving to keep our friendship current this time around...can't afford to wait another twenty-five or thirty years to see each other again!

Thanks in part to Facebook, I am also forging a new friendship.  Randy and I knew each other in high school, but not well.  Reconnecting on FB before the reunion, we found we had much in common, so we made a point to spend some time together.  Jayne, and I had a leisurely lunch with Randy on Sunday and had such fun.  I wish Randy and I had taken time to get to know each other better forty-two years ago...but it's never too late!

The reunion lunch took me back to Long Island for the first time in over twenty years and it was a real trip down memory lane.  I don't know what was more fun...seeing what's changed or seeing what hasn't.  My old elementary school has taken on the look of a reform school...run down, bars on the windows and neglected lawns.  The house where I grew up looked great, but the house we lived in when I was born had a decidedly unkempt feel to it.  The old drugstore on the corner where I met my first husband is now a nail salon and his favorite bowling alley is a mini-mall with a Staples.  Nancy's Fireside lounge, scene of many of our dates is still there, only it is just called Nancy's.  Our luncheon was held at Stella's, also scene of many dates, but I wouldn't have recognized it - it had been completely renovated from pizza place to lovely Italian Ristorante - but the food hadn't changed a bit...it was delicious!

It was truly a fun weekend.  I'm glad I went...and hope to go again!

The Michigan Road Trip...

Our few days in Michigan were packed full.  We stayed in Kalamazoo with Ed's sister Maryann and her family.  Maryann's skill as a hostess is exceded only by her fabulous cooking and we were made to feel very much at home.

The wedding of Ed's niece, which was the catalyst for our trip, was lovely.  Five of Ed's six siblings were there, as well as spouses, children, cousins, friends...  I met more people than I can possibly remember!

Family Reunion

The next day we had breakfast with Tim's grandmother, Pat...an interesting and elegant lady; followed later by a spaghetti and meatball dinner at Maryann's - with more family.

The long-awaited family reunion took place our final day there.  More good food, more relatives, lots of photos and some games...I even made the Scavenger Hunt List!

We left early the next morning and headed to Bluefield, West Virginia to see my son Michael.  We arrived about dinner time and tried to get a room in the only hotel...with no luck.  There were plenty of rooms available, but the computer system was down and the clerk said she could not rent us a room without the computer or the manager...and the manager was no where to be found!!  I booked a room in the next town - over the mountain about forty minutes away - and enjoyed an all too short visit with Michael.  The next day it was back to Wilmington...stopping in Greensboro for lunch with my brother Glen on the way.

It was a good trip.  I love my family but always wished it was larger because I thought having a big family would be so cool...and Ed's did not disappoint me! 

Welcome to Ohio?

This has been a month of travel and visitors...and it's been both exciting and exhausting!

Took a road trip to Michigan in June.  Added two states to my list of "States I've Been To"...went to a wedding and a family reunion...met, literally, dozens of Ed's relatives...visited my son in West Virginia...  It was a busy seven days!

We made the drive up in two days...stopping the first night just over the border into Ohio, in Athens, home to Ohio University.  As we first entered Ohio we decided it was time for a pit stop, so Ed pulled into a rest area.  Imagine my surprise when I entered the ladies' and found ...two open latrines!  Welcome to Ohio???

It was about 6 when we reached Athens.  The local Holiday Inn Express was booked up.  Fortunately the only other hotel in town had a non-smoking room available  The cycling group in town that filled the rooms also created long waits at the usual chain restaurants.  We ended up eating less than mediocre Mexican food.  After a good night's sleep, we got back on the road.

Reached Ann Arbor in time to have lunch with Ed's son, Tim.  And what a lunch!  The Jeruselem Garden in Ann Arbor is fantastic and the hummus...well I'm craving it just writing about it!  Another couple of hours to Battle Creek to visit with Ed's sister, Fran and meet up with brother Mike, just in from Florida.  Then on to Kalamazoo, his sister Mary Ann and a real Michigan welcome!