This year was the first Mother's Day I have spent with BOTH my children since I can't remember when!
We are getting ready to move into our 5th wheel camper full-time next month and are thinning out our possessions. Michael came down from West Virginia for the weekend to pick up the things he wanted. Along with my dining room and some bookcases, he surprised me by asking for china and silver and loved what he termed my "retro" Corning Ware!
Rebecca, Davis, Katie and Jackson came up for one day to visit, so I had a house full...and loved it! The kids ran wild, explored every nook and cranny, made a fort under the staircase with blankets, took the dogs on a walk around the pond and worked on crafts for Mommy's Mother's Day gift. I cooked a nice dinner for everyone...the pork tenderloin with apricot glaze was really good, if I do say so myself ;) but have to admit the asparagus were a bit overdone. In her exuberance pointing out which slice she wanted on her plate, Katie knocked over my beer...right into my lap! No big deal...clothes wash. It was an exhausting day, but I enjoyed having all that vitality and activity in my house.
Katie gave me a lovely Mother's Day card that she created on the computer. Then Jackson handed me his, pointing out: "That one's made on the computer, this one is handmade." They are both proudly displayed. Just love those kids so much.
While he was here, Michael fixed Jack's smartphone and introduced us to the wonder of connecting our computer directly to the TV. So cool to see everything on a 46 inch screen! Apparently I can even download movies to my laptop and watch them on TV. He left us an HDMI cord and may have created a monster!
I was surrounded by the people I love most, my children, my grandchildren and my Jack! It was a wonderful weekend and the best Mother's Day!
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Monday, March 18, 2013
Late Night Thoughts...
Having one of those nights when I can't sleep...just can't turn my mind off.
Two more weeks of work left (plus a final on-call weekend), then the paychecks stop. So does the health insurance. Going to have to file for my Social Security. Need to find out about COBRA insurance, but have serious doubts about whether I can afford it. Two years until I am eligible for Medicare. My Social Security alone isn't going to be enough to subsist on. Jack will have his VA benefit and Social Security...but he will also have alimony to pay. Still waiting to see what happens re: his ex's health insurance. Will be a real kick in the teeth if he is forced to pay for hers while I can't afford any! Worried that the courts may take half his income for her...she could end up with more income than he has! Men do not fare well in this state when it comes to divorce.
We are getting ready to make a huge life change. It is exciting to contemplate, but scary too. Wondering what expenses will be like and how well we will be able to manage. Live safe or take a chance? We are opting to take a chance. I do fine with some risks, but financial risks are hard for me. We could try and live a quiet, safe life in Wilmington. I would be near Becca and my beloved Katie and Jackson, but we wouldn't have much going on in our life. It's not likely there would be money for travel once we paid all our basic living expenses. I don't want to waste away on the couch. So we are opting to take a chance...take the risk...and put adventure into our later years. Exciting but scary.
Keeps me awake some nights...
Two more weeks of work left (plus a final on-call weekend), then the paychecks stop. So does the health insurance. Going to have to file for my Social Security. Need to find out about COBRA insurance, but have serious doubts about whether I can afford it. Two years until I am eligible for Medicare. My Social Security alone isn't going to be enough to subsist on. Jack will have his VA benefit and Social Security...but he will also have alimony to pay. Still waiting to see what happens re: his ex's health insurance. Will be a real kick in the teeth if he is forced to pay for hers while I can't afford any! Worried that the courts may take half his income for her...she could end up with more income than he has! Men do not fare well in this state when it comes to divorce.
We are getting ready to make a huge life change. It is exciting to contemplate, but scary too. Wondering what expenses will be like and how well we will be able to manage. Live safe or take a chance? We are opting to take a chance. I do fine with some risks, but financial risks are hard for me. We could try and live a quiet, safe life in Wilmington. I would be near Becca and my beloved Katie and Jackson, but we wouldn't have much going on in our life. It's not likely there would be money for travel once we paid all our basic living expenses. I don't want to waste away on the couch. So we are opting to take a chance...take the risk...and put adventure into our later years. Exciting but scary.
Keeps me awake some nights...
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Kathy
Wrote a few posts catching up 2012 but did not touch on the worst happening of the year. Probably because I am still trying to wrap my head around it.
All through my trials and tribulations early on with Jack's fear of commitment and my brother's heart surgery and various other events, both happy and sad, there was one person who was always there to support me, cry with me, rant with me, and cheer me on. Kathy.
We went to high school together, but barely knew each other then...reconnecting later in life through the miracle of facebook. I often lamented that I wished we had known more about each other and found our connection back then...that we lost out on so many years of friendship. She agreed, but reminded me that we had lots of years left.
She lived a full life...had many joys and endured many hardships...and came out stronger. She was funny, irreverent, passionate and a supporter of the downtrodden. She could put up sheetrock, lay floors, paint, move furniture. She didn't drink, but hung out at a bar owned by a friend. She always had room for another cat in need of a home, some of whom filled the rafters of her basement until they felt safe enough to emerge...much like Kathy who often said she was like her cats when it came to romance...hiding in the rafters, peeking out and disappearing again. She loved the water and loved the sun, roasting to a golden brown every summer. She dressed up as Cher on Halloween and went into the streets. She had a way of making all her friends feel special...especially me.
I lost Kathy last September...the world lost Kathy last September. She died suddenly after a short illness...leaving behind two young adult children and a legion of friends. We won't have lots of years of friendship after all. What we had will have to do...and I treasure every moment we had.
I miss you, Kathy.
Love you, Sis!
All through my trials and tribulations early on with Jack's fear of commitment and my brother's heart surgery and various other events, both happy and sad, there was one person who was always there to support me, cry with me, rant with me, and cheer me on. Kathy.
We went to high school together, but barely knew each other then...reconnecting later in life through the miracle of facebook. I often lamented that I wished we had known more about each other and found our connection back then...that we lost out on so many years of friendship. She agreed, but reminded me that we had lots of years left.
She lived a full life...had many joys and endured many hardships...and came out stronger. She was funny, irreverent, passionate and a supporter of the downtrodden. She could put up sheetrock, lay floors, paint, move furniture. She didn't drink, but hung out at a bar owned by a friend. She always had room for another cat in need of a home, some of whom filled the rafters of her basement until they felt safe enough to emerge...much like Kathy who often said she was like her cats when it came to romance...hiding in the rafters, peeking out and disappearing again. She loved the water and loved the sun, roasting to a golden brown every summer. She dressed up as Cher on Halloween and went into the streets. She had a way of making all her friends feel special...especially me.
I lost Kathy last September...the world lost Kathy last September. She died suddenly after a short illness...leaving behind two young adult children and a legion of friends. We won't have lots of years of friendship after all. What we had will have to do...and I treasure every moment we had.
I miss you, Kathy.
Love you, Sis!
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Catching Up...Part IV
Summer was devoted to Jack's medical issues and to my learning a new job and adjusting to being in the workforce again. Then came September...
As Jack was waking up from his emergency cholecystectomy (gall bladder removal), I got a call from his sister Mardell...with bad news. Jack's younger brother, Robin had been found dead at his home in California. He was 51. I hated having to tell him that. As more details emerged, we learned he had been murdered! (details here) Stabbed seventeen times! It was horrible. Two weeks after Jack's surgery we flew out to California for the Memorial Service. I think Jack needed to be with his family at that time. It was a nice service and a good family gathering but we were exhausted. We flew out and back in less than forty-eight hours. Not something I want to do again! Talk about jet lag...
In Novemeber we had tickets to a race in Charlotte. Bought them and made reservations months earlier. We were almost too tired to go and might not have, had we not already had the tickets. While there we visited Concord Mills, a huge outlet mall. We were looking in a jewelry store (a favorite pasttime of mine) and saw a lovely solitare at a great price. Jack asked me if I wanted it. I said "of course" and asked him if he knew what it meant. He said he did. I told him he hadn't asked the question...so he proposed right there in the jewelry store! I'm so glad we went to Charlotte! Oh...the race was fun too.
Just before Christmas, Jackson experienced his first broken bone. He was racing Katie on his scooter and got his foot stuck...as he put it, "The scooter stopped and I didn't." He flew over the top and landed on his right arm, fracturing both the radius and the ulna. Damn, that must have hurt! He said, "I tried not to cry, but I screamed." My poor sweet boy. At the same time, Katie has been experiencing pain in her right heel. Turns out the growth plate is inflammed, a rather common occurence among athletic children (Sever's Disease). It goes away when they stop growing. In the meantime, resting it helps the pain, so Katie's right foot has been in a cast for the last few weeks to let her heel rest. The hope is that when the cast comes off, the pain will be gone...and not come back. Hope so!
As Jack was waking up from his emergency cholecystectomy (gall bladder removal), I got a call from his sister Mardell...with bad news. Jack's younger brother, Robin had been found dead at his home in California. He was 51. I hated having to tell him that. As more details emerged, we learned he had been murdered! (details here) Stabbed seventeen times! It was horrible. Two weeks after Jack's surgery we flew out to California for the Memorial Service. I think Jack needed to be with his family at that time. It was a nice service and a good family gathering but we were exhausted. We flew out and back in less than forty-eight hours. Not something I want to do again! Talk about jet lag...
In Novemeber we had tickets to a race in Charlotte. Bought them and made reservations months earlier. We were almost too tired to go and might not have, had we not already had the tickets. While there we visited Concord Mills, a huge outlet mall. We were looking in a jewelry store (a favorite pasttime of mine) and saw a lovely solitare at a great price. Jack asked me if I wanted it. I said "of course" and asked him if he knew what it meant. He said he did. I told him he hadn't asked the question...so he proposed right there in the jewelry store! I'm so glad we went to Charlotte! Oh...the race was fun too.
Novemeber rolled right into December...and Christmas...and color coordinated casts for Katie and Jackson!
Just before Christmas, Jackson experienced his first broken bone. He was racing Katie on his scooter and got his foot stuck...as he put it, "The scooter stopped and I didn't." He flew over the top and landed on his right arm, fracturing both the radius and the ulna. Damn, that must have hurt! He said, "I tried not to cry, but I screamed." My poor sweet boy. At the same time, Katie has been experiencing pain in her right heel. Turns out the growth plate is inflammed, a rather common occurence among athletic children (Sever's Disease). It goes away when they stop growing. In the meantime, resting it helps the pain, so Katie's right foot has been in a cast for the last few weeks to let her heel rest. The hope is that when the cast comes off, the pain will be gone...and not come back. Hope so!
That catches us right up to the present...awaiting the New Year. I am sure there are all kinds of things I've missed and lots of topics I could explore, but for now this will have to suffice. Until next time...
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Catching Up...Part II
With April came our long-awaited California trip. Ten days on the west coast...and meeting Jack's family. We flew into San Francisco, picked up our rental car and headed north. Instead of the small car we reserved, they offered an "opportunity" to upgrade to a Jeep Liberty...at a price of course. Jack jumped at it and fell in love with that small red SUV.
On our first day there, we saw Jack's son Jack, along with his wife Candice and their two daughters, Chanoa almost seven and Sienna the newest addition to the family at only two months old. Later that day his daughter Stacey, her husband Brian and their daughter Kayla (almost ten) arrived. We all went to dinner at Murillo's Mexican restaurant...a place Jack had good memories of...but the food was disappointing. After months of hearing how West Coast Mexican food was so much better than East Coast Mexican, it tasted no better than what I've had 'back East' and not as good as my favorite place! Jack said the place was not like he remembered. But...we had a great first night with kids and grandkids!
Jack's brother Melvin and his wife Robyn held a family get together at their house and Jack's sister Mardell (who I met the previous summer) and their brother Terry came up from Fresno. Sadly, Jack started coming down with something and had a hard time keeping up with all the activity and visits. I felt just awful for Jack, but I had a great time meeting and getting to know everyone. They liked me and I liked them...a success all around. Now he had to keep me!
We visited the Jelly Belly Factory and I bought candy and 'stuffies" to take back to Katie and Jackson. We also spent a day driving up through Napa to Calistoga, had a nice lunch and saw some beautiful country. Jack introduced me to his favorite steak place, The Cattleman. We had an excellent dinner there with Melvin and Robyn. Made him promise to take me there again on our next visit! On our way back to the airport, we did a quick visit to San Francisco and walked around Pier 39 on Fisherman's Wharf, but by then Jack was feeling miserable. We stayed just long enough to buy some souvenirs for my grandkids and have some dinner before going on to the airport. It was a long red-eye flight back home for a very sick Jack.
After we got home, I took Jack to Urgent Care and we found out he had pneumonia. He spent two weeks at home recovering and was still tired and coughing when he returned to work. It was at least a month before he was over it. This was just the first of his summer health problems. June brought a hernia repair and another few weeks of recovery, but only one of them at home. In July it was cataract surgery. Then there was a diagnosis of anemia thrown in somewhere along the line and a GI work-up. They found some asymptomatic gall bladder problems in July that became troublesome. By September he was feeling bad, ended up in the ER and went straight to the OR for an unscheduled cholecystectomy and another week at home plus several more to recuperate.
Now all that's left are the medical bills...
Next up...a job?
 |
| Jack, Stacey and Jack |
Jack's brother Melvin and his wife Robyn held a family get together at their house and Jack's sister Mardell (who I met the previous summer) and their brother Terry came up from Fresno. Sadly, Jack started coming down with something and had a hard time keeping up with all the activity and visits. I felt just awful for Jack, but I had a great time meeting and getting to know everyone. They liked me and I liked them...a success all around. Now he had to keep me!
We visited the Jelly Belly Factory and I bought candy and 'stuffies" to take back to Katie and Jackson. We also spent a day driving up through Napa to Calistoga, had a nice lunch and saw some beautiful country. Jack introduced me to his favorite steak place, The Cattleman. We had an excellent dinner there with Melvin and Robyn. Made him promise to take me there again on our next visit! On our way back to the airport, we did a quick visit to San Francisco and walked around Pier 39 on Fisherman's Wharf, but by then Jack was feeling miserable. We stayed just long enough to buy some souvenirs for my grandkids and have some dinner before going on to the airport. It was a long red-eye flight back home for a very sick Jack.After we got home, I took Jack to Urgent Care and we found out he had pneumonia. He spent two weeks at home recovering and was still tired and coughing when he returned to work. It was at least a month before he was over it. This was just the first of his summer health problems. June brought a hernia repair and another few weeks of recovery, but only one of them at home. In July it was cataract surgery. Then there was a diagnosis of anemia thrown in somewhere along the line and a GI work-up. They found some asymptomatic gall bladder problems in July that became troublesome. By September he was feeling bad, ended up in the ER and went straight to the OR for an unscheduled cholecystectomy and another week at home plus several more to recuperate.
Now all that's left are the medical bills...
Next up...a job?
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Catching Up...Part I
Well, my last post was welcoming in 2012 and here we are almost ready to welcome in 2013. I was starting a new chapter in my life and wanted to document it but, as it turns out, there really is life after sixty and I got too busy living it to find time to write about it. I'm going to play catch up now and see if we can't finish out 2012 before 2013 arrives!
JANUARY
January was get ready to move month. Got a lot of smaller but vital things moved up to New Bern, ordered new bedroom furniture for Jack's and my new life together, bought airline tickets for California and found a new home for my kitties.
Jack's lease on the townhouse does not allow cats, so my kitties were not going to be able to make the move with me. It was fortunate that I adopted them from a rescue group and was able to return them to the group when I could no longer keep them. I gave them about six weeks notice and they were able to find a foster home for them where they could stay together. Giving them back was a very hard thing for me to do.
Jack had some bouts of cold feet during this time, but worked them out and the move went forward. I didn't know until much later how difficult this commitment was for him. The actual move-in date for furniture got pushed ahead several times and didn't happen until early March, but the last night I spent in my house was about three days before Christmas. To this day, I never quite know what to say when someone asks how long we've lived together!
FEBRUARY & MARCH
February brought only a rather disappointing Valentine's Day...next year's will be better...and some serious health problems for my brother, Glen. He suffered his first attack of Congestive Heart Failure, followed by a second, finally culminating in open heart surgery in March. As this is all catch up rather than real time, I can say that he is now doing fine, but it was a long and difficult road. I spent more time in Greenboro the month of March than I did in New Bern. It was very scary to consider the possibility of losing my brother. It also caused some strained feelings towards baby brother Ken. I know he loves Glen and would have been devastated to lose him, but I was disappointed in the amount of time he was able to allocate to helping Glen during this time. Fortunately, Glen has some very good friends and support at Unity Church who pitched in to help with animal care, visits, food and household chores.
During one of my many visits to Greensboro I ran into an ex-husband - Bud...husband number two. He was at the hospital for a job interview and we had lunch together. It was a nice visit.
Jack and I celebrated an annivarsary at the end of March. One year together as a couple. It was a year full of ups and downs, but ended on an up. Jack came home from work with roses, the first I had ever received from him, and sweet cards. Then we went out for a romantic dinner at Morgan's Tavern, a place we particularly like. It was a great anniversary celebration!
APRIL
April brought my sixty-second birthday, not a milestone, just another birthday. I learned that Jack was not accustomed to giving birthday gifts and he learned that I AM accustomed to getting them. Next year will be a better birthday...he promised! I did have a great birthday celebration with Becca,Davis, Katie and Jackson!
The bedroom furniture I ordered in January finally arrived from High Point at the end of April. It was, and is, beautiful and we are both happy with it. Good thing as it is probably the last bedroom furniture we will ever have! One of the downsides of getting older...realizing that your are approaching "lasts' in your life.
We went to California in April, but I will leave the details of that trip for my next installment. It was a good trip overall, but heralded the start of a summer of medical issues for Jack.
Stay tuned...
JANUARY
January was get ready to move month. Got a lot of smaller but vital things moved up to New Bern, ordered new bedroom furniture for Jack's and my new life together, bought airline tickets for California and found a new home for my kitties.
Jack's lease on the townhouse does not allow cats, so my kitties were not going to be able to make the move with me. It was fortunate that I adopted them from a rescue group and was able to return them to the group when I could no longer keep them. I gave them about six weeks notice and they were able to find a foster home for them where they could stay together. Giving them back was a very hard thing for me to do.
Jack had some bouts of cold feet during this time, but worked them out and the move went forward. I didn't know until much later how difficult this commitment was for him. The actual move-in date for furniture got pushed ahead several times and didn't happen until early March, but the last night I spent in my house was about three days before Christmas. To this day, I never quite know what to say when someone asks how long we've lived together!
FEBRUARY & MARCH
February brought only a rather disappointing Valentine's Day...next year's will be better...and some serious health problems for my brother, Glen. He suffered his first attack of Congestive Heart Failure, followed by a second, finally culminating in open heart surgery in March. As this is all catch up rather than real time, I can say that he is now doing fine, but it was a long and difficult road. I spent more time in Greenboro the month of March than I did in New Bern. It was very scary to consider the possibility of losing my brother. It also caused some strained feelings towards baby brother Ken. I know he loves Glen and would have been devastated to lose him, but I was disappointed in the amount of time he was able to allocate to helping Glen during this time. Fortunately, Glen has some very good friends and support at Unity Church who pitched in to help with animal care, visits, food and household chores.
During one of my many visits to Greensboro I ran into an ex-husband - Bud...husband number two. He was at the hospital for a job interview and we had lunch together. It was a nice visit.
Jack and I celebrated an annivarsary at the end of March. One year together as a couple. It was a year full of ups and downs, but ended on an up. Jack came home from work with roses, the first I had ever received from him, and sweet cards. Then we went out for a romantic dinner at Morgan's Tavern, a place we particularly like. It was a great anniversary celebration!
APRIL
April brought my sixty-second birthday, not a milestone, just another birthday. I learned that Jack was not accustomed to giving birthday gifts and he learned that I AM accustomed to getting them. Next year will be a better birthday...he promised! I did have a great birthday celebration with Becca,Davis, Katie and Jackson!
The bedroom furniture I ordered in January finally arrived from High Point at the end of April. It was, and is, beautiful and we are both happy with it. Good thing as it is probably the last bedroom furniture we will ever have! One of the downsides of getting older...realizing that your are approaching "lasts' in your life.
We went to California in April, but I will leave the details of that trip for my next installment. It was a good trip overall, but heralded the start of a summer of medical issues for Jack.
Stay tuned...
Monday, January 23, 2012
New Year, New Beginning...
Well, three weeks into the the New Year and I'm getting used to it being 2012.
I will turn sixty-two this year, which means I will be eligible for Social Security benefits, should I want to take them. It rather boggles my mind. I've never been able to imagine being old enough for SS - it's always felt like it was off in the distant future. Realizing it is upon me is a bit of a reality shock!
No New Year's resolutions for me. I've never had any luck with them. While, in one respect, the New Year can feel like a beginning, in most ways, it just feels like a continuation of winter...and I usually can't find any good reason to want to "turn over a new leaf".
This year the New Year actually is a beginning; it is ushering in the start of a new chapter in my life. I am moving...to a new life in a new city (town?)...moving in with Jack, into his townhouse in New Bern. Seventy-five miles and ninety minutes from home...and from Becca, Katie and Jackson. I never expected to move even a short distance from them, so this is a good indicator of how much building a life with Jack means to me. I'm going to miss them a lot and plan to make that drive between New Bern and Wilmington on a regular basis. I'm going to miss Wilmington too. New Bern is quite lacking in things to do, places to go, and good restaurants; Wilmington, on the other hand, lacks Jack! It is a temporary move, to be sure, only until Jack retires in the next two to three years...then we will return to Wilmington.
I may be nearing sixty-two, but falling in love makes me feel more like twenty-two. Right now life feels good and I'm happy.
I will turn sixty-two this year, which means I will be eligible for Social Security benefits, should I want to take them. It rather boggles my mind. I've never been able to imagine being old enough for SS - it's always felt like it was off in the distant future. Realizing it is upon me is a bit of a reality shock!
No New Year's resolutions for me. I've never had any luck with them. While, in one respect, the New Year can feel like a beginning, in most ways, it just feels like a continuation of winter...and I usually can't find any good reason to want to "turn over a new leaf".
This year the New Year actually is a beginning; it is ushering in the start of a new chapter in my life. I am moving...to a new life in a new city (town?)...moving in with Jack, into his townhouse in New Bern. Seventy-five miles and ninety minutes from home...and from Becca, Katie and Jackson. I never expected to move even a short distance from them, so this is a good indicator of how much building a life with Jack means to me. I'm going to miss them a lot and plan to make that drive between New Bern and Wilmington on a regular basis. I'm going to miss Wilmington too. New Bern is quite lacking in things to do, places to go, and good restaurants; Wilmington, on the other hand, lacks Jack! It is a temporary move, to be sure, only until Jack retires in the next two to three years...then we will return to Wilmington.
I may be nearing sixty-two, but falling in love makes me feel more like twenty-two. Right now life feels good and I'm happy.
Monday, December 26, 2011
2011 Comes To An End...
Wow! Haven't written in a long time! It is the day after Christmas - the holidays are coming to an end - weeks of shopping, cooking, decorating, wrapping are all over. Nothing left to do but take down the tree, ring in the new year and forge ahead.
The holidays were...well, holidays. Spent Thanksgiving at Susan's (Becca's mother-in-law) as we often do. It was good...except Jack was coming down with something (and stayed sick for a week) and I, apparently, offended Susan (unintentionally) with an offhand comment on Facebook! I emailed an apology, but never received a response, so...who knows?
Made a visit to Greensboro to see my brothers on the fifteenth - mainly to celebrate Glen's turning sixty. We had a nice birthday celebration and a nice visit - even got to see Ciera perform in a gymnastic meet. Then I fell. I was shopping with Ciera and my foot hit a place where the cement was uneven...and I fell flat on my face! My left cheek is swollen, bruised and abraded. Also ended up with a break in my pinky right where it joins the hand! It hurts...a LOT! Thank goodness it's my left hand! Face is improving...the hand is in a splint for 6-8 weeks. It's only been a little more than a week and I'm already sick of trying to do everything with one hand!
Christmas was good - and a bit special this year as it was Jack's and my first Christmas together as a couple. We went to two theater performances. Katie was in her first play - How The Grinch Stole Christmas - she was a wonderful Candy Cane Who! It was put on by a Youth Perfomance Theater. Jackson liked it so well he went to three performances - one with Mommy and Daddy, one with his Grandpa, and one with Jack and me! The same weekend, after a nice dinner at the Front Street Brewery, Jack and I went to see the Santaland Diaries at City Stage at Level 5. I always love that show and it was a great production! Jack had never seen or read it before and really liked it. We had a great time.
We had a nice Christmas celebration with Becca, Davis and the kids at Lee (Davis' dad) and Karen's on Christmas Eve. They always have a nice Christmas Eve party...and make fabulous chili! Christmas Day was Doug's turn for Christmas at Becca's, so Jack and I had a quiet Christmas up at his place in New Bern...which is soon to be my place too! Yes...we're moving in together the end of January!
Starting a new life in the New Year...
The holidays were...well, holidays. Spent Thanksgiving at Susan's (Becca's mother-in-law) as we often do. It was good...except Jack was coming down with something (and stayed sick for a week) and I, apparently, offended Susan (unintentionally) with an offhand comment on Facebook! I emailed an apology, but never received a response, so...who knows?
Made a visit to Greensboro to see my brothers on the fifteenth - mainly to celebrate Glen's turning sixty. We had a nice birthday celebration and a nice visit - even got to see Ciera perform in a gymnastic meet. Then I fell. I was shopping with Ciera and my foot hit a place where the cement was uneven...and I fell flat on my face! My left cheek is swollen, bruised and abraded. Also ended up with a break in my pinky right where it joins the hand! It hurts...a LOT! Thank goodness it's my left hand! Face is improving...the hand is in a splint for 6-8 weeks. It's only been a little more than a week and I'm already sick of trying to do everything with one hand!
 |
| Katie in costume after a performance |
We had a nice Christmas celebration with Becca, Davis and the kids at Lee (Davis' dad) and Karen's on Christmas Eve. They always have a nice Christmas Eve party...and make fabulous chili! Christmas Day was Doug's turn for Christmas at Becca's, so Jack and I had a quiet Christmas up at his place in New Bern...which is soon to be my place too! Yes...we're moving in together the end of January!
Starting a new life in the New Year...
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Trick...or Treat?
I went trick or treating with Katie and Jackson last night - just like I do every year. It has pretty much become a tradition; I've missed only one Halloween - in 2007, when I had to rush to Pinehurst because one of my parents had been hospitalized. I don't recall whether it was Mom or Dad as it was a frequent occurence for both in their last years.
Katie was a Zombie and Jackson was the Pirate Jack Sparrow. Every year I've found myself calling out "be careful" dozens of times; this year I didn't say it even once. They just seemed so much older - going from house to house, staying with the group, waiting for the others when necessary, even using umbrellas when the rain came -lots of excitement and no meltdowns!
My ex came to see the kids this Halloween and was already at their house when I arrived. As I walked in, Katie came running up to me, shouted out "Grandma", leapt into my arms and gave me a big hug!
She then quietly whispered, "Would you like to see your used-to-be husband?"I'm still trying to come up with a reply!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Ruminating...
So much for resolving to post more often. My last post was over a month ago! Sometimes I have so much on my mind I just don't know what I want to say...and I wish my mind had an "off" switch.
There's a lot going on in the world lately and, although I have opinions and strong feelings, I'm tired of all the politics. The ever present race for the GOP nomination from a field of clowns. A surge of activism...with Occupy Wall Street as the latest. Qaddafi toppled and dead. Health care reform, rescuing Social Security, same-sex marriage. Seems people are talking of nothing else; everyone's got their opinion and no one is changing anyone's mind. One is either preaching to the choir or ones words are falling on dead ears.
Still, I have lots of my own problems. No job for starters. I've applied for nearly eighty jobs in the last twenty months to no avail. Since I'm no longer making a mortgage payment, my unemployment covers bills and living expenses for now - but I'm not sure how much longer that will last. Once that stops, I will be scrounging. At which point I will have to look for anything...even if it only pays minimum wage. There's health insurance or the lack thereof. COBRA ran out over two months ago and, although I am in reasonably good health, apparently I am too high risk to insure. Hate to think about people who have serious health problems. Then, of course, there is the aforementioned mortgage that I'm no longer paying and the inevitable foreclosure, along with the myriad of issues that brings forth. It's enough to make one crazy..and depressed.
More and more, in the interests of preserving my mental health, I take the ostrich approach and focus my energies on the upside of my life. My kids, grandkids, other family, and Jack.
There's a lot going on in the world lately and, although I have opinions and strong feelings, I'm tired of all the politics. The ever present race for the GOP nomination from a field of clowns. A surge of activism...with Occupy Wall Street as the latest. Qaddafi toppled and dead. Health care reform, rescuing Social Security, same-sex marriage. Seems people are talking of nothing else; everyone's got their opinion and no one is changing anyone's mind. One is either preaching to the choir or ones words are falling on dead ears.
Still, I have lots of my own problems. No job for starters. I've applied for nearly eighty jobs in the last twenty months to no avail. Since I'm no longer making a mortgage payment, my unemployment covers bills and living expenses for now - but I'm not sure how much longer that will last. Once that stops, I will be scrounging. At which point I will have to look for anything...even if it only pays minimum wage. There's health insurance or the lack thereof. COBRA ran out over two months ago and, although I am in reasonably good health, apparently I am too high risk to insure. Hate to think about people who have serious health problems. Then, of course, there is the aforementioned mortgage that I'm no longer paying and the inevitable foreclosure, along with the myriad of issues that brings forth. It's enough to make one crazy..and depressed.
More and more, in the interests of preserving my mental health, I take the ostrich approach and focus my energies on the upside of my life. My kids, grandkids, other family, and Jack.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Turning Five and Growing Older...
We are reaching the end of summer and moving towards a new year. Felt the first nip of fall these last few days and, while summer weather is not gone for good (eighty degree temps will return later in the week), it always feels good the first time I have to put on jeans or a shirt with sleeves!
Becca baked him an absolutely beautiful cake. She has a wonderful creative streak. I know she didn't get it from me and her father is equally uncreative. Maybe it goes back a generation or two. Tomorrow the family will go out for dinner at a restaurant of Jackson's choosing. Katie always chooses places that have good food...Jackson's choice is McDonalds!
Jackson turns five tomorrow. Seems so recently that he was an infant being rocked to sleep in Grandma's arms. Now I can barely lift him! His party yesterday was themed around Cars 2...his favorite movie and primary passion!
Becca baked him an absolutely beautiful cake. She has a wonderful creative streak. I know she didn't get it from me and her father is equally uncreative. Maybe it goes back a generation or two. Tomorrow the family will go out for dinner at a restaurant of Jackson's choosing. Katie always chooses places that have good food...Jackson's choice is McDonalds!Seems my posts are less frequent and all I do is marvel over the passage of time. Someone once told me that once we reach the fifteenth of the month, the month is essentially over. I'm noticing this seems to be true. I'm going to make an effort to post on here a bit more often - before life passes right by me!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Exhausting August...
Wow! Seems August has kept me busy since this is only my second post for the month and the last day of August. For a little while there, it almost felt I was running a Bed and Breakfast...sans breakfast as everyone helped themselves.
Lin, a girl I went to high school with visited Wilmington with her husband Dale and we had dinner together. We went downtown for dinner at Elijah's...one of my favorites...then walked along the riverfront in Historic downtown Wilmington. We hadn't seen each other in forty-three years and didn't know each other very well in high school - so it could have been an awkward evening, but it wasn't. Jack and I enjoyed the evening with them and conversation flowed easily. A nice reunion.
The next morning Glen came for a visit and brought Tasha Dog with him. We ate out a lot, spent time visiting with Becca, Davis, Katie and Jackson and...Glen and Jack finally met. Tasha enjoyed her time lounging on the porch! As usual, Glen put in time cleaning up my computers - he's a computer whiz - and he started work upgrading Jack's computer. He pronounced Jack a nice guy and said I can keep him! I always enjoy time with Glen.
Next came Roy and Cynthia. Roy's a former boyfriend and Cynthia is his best friend turned girlfriend. They were in town so Cynthia could gather more information for her upcoming book on Gullah culture (due to be published by Christmas) and spent two nights with me. It was a nice visit.
As Roy and Cynthia left, Ken and Ciera arrived. They wanted one last weekend at the beach before Ciera went back to school. Got some beach time in and some good food. Sadly, Becca and family were out of town so the cousins missed each other. It was good to see them again...a little odd, but good.
A few days later I experienced a first in my life. There was a 5.8 earthquake in Northern Virginia that was felt down here! It created much excitement and frenzy for East Coasters unfamiliar with earthquakes. I was sitting on Jack's couch watching something I'd DVR'd (he was at work) and the couch started to shimmy sideways. My first thought was that the dog was scratching while leaning against the couch...until I saw her sitting on a chair! I didn't know what it was until I later went online, but I'm proud to say I didn't freak! Jack, being from California, knew exactly what it was immediately.
Jack's sister Mardell came to town next. She was in New Jersey visiting a friend and they traveled to Carolina Beach for a few days, so we made plans to meet in Wilmington. We spent most of the day wandering downtown and visiting - with a stop for lunch at Elijah's, of course, and ice cream at Kilwins. I really enjoyed meeting her and her friend Ellen. We got along well; I liked them and they seemed to like me. Jack later told me I received his sister's stamp of approval.
A few days later, Irene came to town - a rather unwelcome visitor as Irene was a Category 2 hurricane. We battened down the hatches at my house, left the cats lots of food and water and retreated to Jack's to ride her out. She was expected to bypass Wilmington and make landfall at Morehead City so we knew the cats would be safe. We fared well - only losing power for about eight hours. It got a little warm without A/C and have to admit we missed cable which stayed out about twenty-four hours...but really no great hardship.
Wonder what September has in store...
Lin, a girl I went to high school with visited Wilmington with her husband Dale and we had dinner together. We went downtown for dinner at Elijah's...one of my favorites...then walked along the riverfront in Historic downtown Wilmington. We hadn't seen each other in forty-three years and didn't know each other very well in high school - so it could have been an awkward evening, but it wasn't. Jack and I enjoyed the evening with them and conversation flowed easily. A nice reunion.
The next morning Glen came for a visit and brought Tasha Dog with him. We ate out a lot, spent time visiting with Becca, Davis, Katie and Jackson and...Glen and Jack finally met. Tasha enjoyed her time lounging on the porch! As usual, Glen put in time cleaning up my computers - he's a computer whiz - and he started work upgrading Jack's computer. He pronounced Jack a nice guy and said I can keep him! I always enjoy time with Glen.
Next came Roy and Cynthia. Roy's a former boyfriend and Cynthia is his best friend turned girlfriend. They were in town so Cynthia could gather more information for her upcoming book on Gullah culture (due to be published by Christmas) and spent two nights with me. It was a nice visit.
As Roy and Cynthia left, Ken and Ciera arrived. They wanted one last weekend at the beach before Ciera went back to school. Got some beach time in and some good food. Sadly, Becca and family were out of town so the cousins missed each other. It was good to see them again...a little odd, but good.
A few days later I experienced a first in my life. There was a 5.8 earthquake in Northern Virginia that was felt down here! It created much excitement and frenzy for East Coasters unfamiliar with earthquakes. I was sitting on Jack's couch watching something I'd DVR'd (he was at work) and the couch started to shimmy sideways. My first thought was that the dog was scratching while leaning against the couch...until I saw her sitting on a chair! I didn't know what it was until I later went online, but I'm proud to say I didn't freak! Jack, being from California, knew exactly what it was immediately.
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| Gail, Jack and Mardell |
A few days later, Irene came to town - a rather unwelcome visitor as Irene was a Category 2 hurricane. We battened down the hatches at my house, left the cats lots of food and water and retreated to Jack's to ride her out. She was expected to bypass Wilmington and make landfall at Morehead City so we knew the cats would be safe. We fared well - only losing power for about eight hours. It got a little warm without A/C and have to admit we missed cable which stayed out about twenty-four hours...but really no great hardship.
Wonder what September has in store...
Thursday, August 11, 2011
August Already?
My gosh...we're nearly half way through August! Still no real job, but signed up with an agency to work flu-shot clinics this fall - so maybe an opportunity for some money. The routine job hunting continues as always.
Jack and I have dinner plans tomorrow with a girl from my high school - and her husband. After forty-three years I suppose I shouldn't be referring to her as a girl, though that's what she was the last time I saw her! Funny how time changes perspective...though we were not close in high school, we are both excited and looking forward to seeing each other tomorrow. We reconnected via Facebook. Her husband is a car racing enthusiast as is Jack, so I am hoping the men will find common ground for conversation.
Saturday, Glen arrives for a visit - his first in a year. I am looking forward to introducing him to Jack and just having time to visit!
Down the August road - more house guests and meeting Jack's sister...
Jack and I have dinner plans tomorrow with a girl from my high school - and her husband. After forty-three years I suppose I shouldn't be referring to her as a girl, though that's what she was the last time I saw her! Funny how time changes perspective...though we were not close in high school, we are both excited and looking forward to seeing each other tomorrow. We reconnected via Facebook. Her husband is a car racing enthusiast as is Jack, so I am hoping the men will find common ground for conversation.
Saturday, Glen arrives for a visit - his first in a year. I am looking forward to introducing him to Jack and just having time to visit!
Down the August road - more house guests and meeting Jack's sister...
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
July...
As usual, July has been a busy month. It is chock full of birthdays - in calendar order - Jack was 64, Michael was 38, Davis was 41 and Becca was 36. Then there was Ken's yearly beach vacation visit. We had a good time...as always. The past two summers Ed was living here and did lots of cooking while they visited. Prior to that we used to eat out most of the time. This year was a combo of both - I did some cooking and we did some eating out.
The little cousins spent lots of time together, especially Katie and Ciera. There were sleepovers in both directions and a trip to the theater with the girls to see Annie. Jackson spent that day with Daddy, while Ken and Matthew detailed my car (a great bonus!). Matthew went off on his own the first few days to hang with some college buddies. Hard to believe he's twenty now.
We put in lots of beach and pool time. The girls are becoming excellent swimmers and Jackson is getting braver about trying out his skills. Katie even managed to coerce Grandma into going down the waterslide at the pool! Ken took a picture, so my awkward plunge is preserved for posterity! Jack spent a pool day with us and met Ken and the kids, while Katie and Jackson wore him out in the pool. We can still hear Jackson calling out, "Mr. Jack! Mr. Jack!"
I've turned into a real beach grandma this summer and am sporting the best tan I've had in decades! Becca has asked me several times if I am trying to give myself skin cancer. I do protect my face, but haven't been as careful with the rest of me. Have to admit I like the color on my arms and legs.
This Saturday Becca and Davis have a wedding in SC, so Katie and Jackson will spend the weekend with Grandma.
I'm still anticipating visits from Glen and from my niece Laura and her family. Ken has talked about coming down again, and Jack's sister will be in the area in a few weeks, as well as an old girlfriend of mine from high school. Hard to say just what August will bring...
The little cousins spent lots of time together, especially Katie and Ciera. There were sleepovers in both directions and a trip to the theater with the girls to see Annie. Jackson spent that day with Daddy, while Ken and Matthew detailed my car (a great bonus!). Matthew went off on his own the first few days to hang with some college buddies. Hard to believe he's twenty now.
We put in lots of beach and pool time. The girls are becoming excellent swimmers and Jackson is getting braver about trying out his skills. Katie even managed to coerce Grandma into going down the waterslide at the pool! Ken took a picture, so my awkward plunge is preserved for posterity! Jack spent a pool day with us and met Ken and the kids, while Katie and Jackson wore him out in the pool. We can still hear Jackson calling out, "Mr. Jack! Mr. Jack!"
I've turned into a real beach grandma this summer and am sporting the best tan I've had in decades! Becca has asked me several times if I am trying to give myself skin cancer. I do protect my face, but haven't been as careful with the rest of me. Have to admit I like the color on my arms and legs.
This Saturday Becca and Davis have a wedding in SC, so Katie and Jackson will spend the weekend with Grandma.
I'm still anticipating visits from Glen and from my niece Laura and her family. Ken has talked about coming down again, and Jack's sister will be in the area in a few weeks, as well as an old girlfriend of mine from high school. Hard to say just what August will bring...
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Updates Here and There...
Still waiting to hear about the job. Called the recruiter in HR and got voice mail - hung up without leaving a message. Yes, I know that was wimpy. I'll try again tomorrow. The waiting is killing me, but I'm almost afraid to find out because my hopes may be dashed. Every job I don't get is one less option available to me - or at least that's how it feels.
My Sunday dinner to introduce Jack to my daughter, son-in-law and grandkids went well. The food was good - so everyone said - and conversation was fine. Though Jack was nervous (he said) he interacted nicely with everyone; I was proud to show him off. Everyone seemed to like him well enough and he seemed to like them.
Well, I am officially one month in arrears on my mortgage. The bank calls every day...five or six times if I don't answer. Talked to them today and exlained my situation. I got a few "I'm sorry" platitudes and several useless suggestions as to how I could get them their money.
The woman at the other end of the phone asked if I had any relatives who could help. I expressed dismay that she would expect my children to pay my bills when they were busy trying to support their own children.
Then she asked if I had considered renting out a room. I replied that I'd considered that, but that it would only net me about a fifth of the mortgage payment so why bother.
She replied that I might find work. I said I was still looking, but at sixty plus and after 18 months without a job, I asked what she thought my odds were.
She asked if I have any income at all. I told her I had a few more months of unemployment. She asked how much that is. I told her and said it is equal to my mortgage payment, which leaves nothing for electricity or food. I asked if she was suggesting I give up either.
She suggested that I could get hardship permission to tap my 401K. I said, "You want me to use what little retirement money I have to try and save a house I can't afford so that I can be destitute and eat cat food when I'm seventy?"
She suggested I contact a realtor. I told her I had and that I would have twenty thousand dollars in out of pocket costs. She suggested a short sale. I told her I had considered it but had been told that the bank wouldn't be likely to approve it if I have retirement money in the bank. She said she didn't know about that.
I think she must have reached the end of her list of suggestions because she finished up by telling me that since I am still in arrears I can expect to get "follow up" calls daily and wished me a nice day...
My Sunday dinner to introduce Jack to my daughter, son-in-law and grandkids went well. The food was good - so everyone said - and conversation was fine. Though Jack was nervous (he said) he interacted nicely with everyone; I was proud to show him off. Everyone seemed to like him well enough and he seemed to like them.
Well, I am officially one month in arrears on my mortgage. The bank calls every day...five or six times if I don't answer. Talked to them today and exlained my situation. I got a few "I'm sorry" platitudes and several useless suggestions as to how I could get them their money.
The woman at the other end of the phone asked if I had any relatives who could help. I expressed dismay that she would expect my children to pay my bills when they were busy trying to support their own children.
Then she asked if I had considered renting out a room. I replied that I'd considered that, but that it would only net me about a fifth of the mortgage payment so why bother.
She replied that I might find work. I said I was still looking, but at sixty plus and after 18 months without a job, I asked what she thought my odds were.
She asked if I have any income at all. I told her I had a few more months of unemployment. She asked how much that is. I told her and said it is equal to my mortgage payment, which leaves nothing for electricity or food. I asked if she was suggesting I give up either.
She suggested that I could get hardship permission to tap my 401K. I said, "You want me to use what little retirement money I have to try and save a house I can't afford so that I can be destitute and eat cat food when I'm seventy?"
She suggested I contact a realtor. I told her I had and that I would have twenty thousand dollars in out of pocket costs. She suggested a short sale. I told her I had considered it but had been told that the bank wouldn't be likely to approve it if I have retirement money in the bank. She said she didn't know about that.
I think she must have reached the end of her list of suggestions because she finished up by telling me that since I am still in arrears I can expect to get "follow up" calls daily and wished me a nice day...
Monday, June 20, 2011
A Busy Week...
This is a bit of a busy week coming up - busy by my standards, though I'm sure not busy by daughter Rebecca's "busy-mom-of-two" standards.
Drove back to Wilmington today after a weekend in New Bern with Jack and arrived just in time for an appointment with Rusty, my financial advisor. Rusty's a sweet thirty-something young man who pays me lots of attention and is helping me plan for retirement - something I should have started decades ago! Turns out I have a bit more set aside than I thought and he has some good ideas for pulling a small monthly income out of it to supplement Social Security. If I can wait until age sixty-six to retire, I might be able to make it on my own if I keep it very simple - if I am not alone I will be in good shape. If I have to retire at age sixty-two, I can only make it if I have a life partner to share expenses. Not great news, but it helps to have a realistic picture of the future. Rusty is fully behind my plan to walk away from my house. He says it makes perfect sense for me.
Tomorrow - the summer solstice - my beautiful granddaughter Katie turns seven. She's already had a beach party with friends; tomorrow will be dinner with family at a restaurant of her choice followed by homemade ice cream at Boombalatti's! It's hard to believe she's seven years old already - the time's gone by so fast. She's becoming an amazing young girl.
Wednesday is the first of my upcoming appointments for dental work. It will be an uncomfortable and expensive afternoon! Thursday I have the job interview at Carteret Hospital. That will be interesting and stressful as it can affect several areas of my life - or change nothing at all.
Finally comes the weekend. Jack and I will spend it together as we usually do...with one change. Becca, Davis and the kids are coming for Sunday dinner and Jack will finally meet them.
By my standards, a very busy week...
Drove back to Wilmington today after a weekend in New Bern with Jack and arrived just in time for an appointment with Rusty, my financial advisor. Rusty's a sweet thirty-something young man who pays me lots of attention and is helping me plan for retirement - something I should have started decades ago! Turns out I have a bit more set aside than I thought and he has some good ideas for pulling a small monthly income out of it to supplement Social Security. If I can wait until age sixty-six to retire, I might be able to make it on my own if I keep it very simple - if I am not alone I will be in good shape. If I have to retire at age sixty-two, I can only make it if I have a life partner to share expenses. Not great news, but it helps to have a realistic picture of the future. Rusty is fully behind my plan to walk away from my house. He says it makes perfect sense for me.
Tomorrow - the summer solstice - my beautiful granddaughter Katie turns seven. She's already had a beach party with friends; tomorrow will be dinner with family at a restaurant of her choice followed by homemade ice cream at Boombalatti's! It's hard to believe she's seven years old already - the time's gone by so fast. She's becoming an amazing young girl.
Wednesday is the first of my upcoming appointments for dental work. It will be an uncomfortable and expensive afternoon! Thursday I have the job interview at Carteret Hospital. That will be interesting and stressful as it can affect several areas of my life - or change nothing at all.
Finally comes the weekend. Jack and I will spend it together as we usually do...with one change. Becca, Davis and the kids are coming for Sunday dinner and Jack will finally meet them.
By my standards, a very busy week...
Friday, March 11, 2011
A Visit To PA...
Went up to Pennsylvania a couple of weeks ago to visit my niece Laura and her family. It was a real family weekend...basketball practice, basketball games, birthday parties, piano lessons, gymnastics meets, family bowling. It's been a lot of years since I lived life at that pace! It was exhausting, but loads of fun. I loved watching John and Eric at all their activities. Each visit I get to know them a little better...still have lots of years to catch up on. Laura's husband Martin continues to impress me with his kindness and devotion to his family...I look forward to knowing him better too as time goes on.
Laura planned a family lunch to celebrate John's recent eleventh birthday. Laura's Aunt Nancy and Uncle Roger joined us as well as my sister Amy, so we had the opportunity to visit for a couple of hours.
This visit brought with it another reunion. I saw my niece Jill (Laura's sister) for the first time in forty years! Needless to say she's changed a lot since she was six!! She was in town visiting...combining a work trip with pleasure...from Colorado. She is a warm, friendly, beautiful, high energy woman. It felt so good to see her and hug her after all these years and to rekindle the family connection.
Of course I aways enjoy my one-on-one time with Laura...she's more like a second daughter to me than a niece. We are alike in ways and provide great sounding boards to each other. I was able to get some good perspectives on my current "man situation" from both the therapist side of her and the niece side.
Every time I visit I am swept into another pocket of family...one I have been away from for a long time. I love it!
Laura planned a family lunch to celebrate John's recent eleventh birthday. Laura's Aunt Nancy and Uncle Roger joined us as well as my sister Amy, so we had the opportunity to visit for a couple of hours.
This visit brought with it another reunion. I saw my niece Jill (Laura's sister) for the first time in forty years! Needless to say she's changed a lot since she was six!! She was in town visiting...combining a work trip with pleasure...from Colorado. She is a warm, friendly, beautiful, high energy woman. It felt so good to see her and hug her after all these years and to rekindle the family connection.
Of course I aways enjoy my one-on-one time with Laura...she's more like a second daughter to me than a niece. We are alike in ways and provide great sounding boards to each other. I was able to get some good perspectives on my current "man situation" from both the therapist side of her and the niece side.
Every time I visit I am swept into another pocket of family...one I have been away from for a long time. I love it!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
More Childhood Memories...
We moved from the house on 85th Ave to the house on Superior Road when I was seven. The LIRR ran right behind the house and no one could sleep the first night we moved in. Dad packed us up and we went somewhere for the weekend. I don't remember what happened after that weekend, but eventually we hardly noticed the trains and were always surprised when someone else did. Hardly noticed them, that is, except when Glen and I were competing. We worked out a system that awarded points. If a freight train ended with a red caboose, I got a point; if it ended with an orange caboose, Glen got a point. If a passenger train ended with a double-decker car, point to Gail. Standard single-decker passenger car at the end went to Glen. Most of the trains ended with either an orange caboose or a single level passenger car...so Glen "won" most of the time. It seems my habit of rooting for the underdog started early.
Life changed in the new neighbothood. It was quieter and more affluent - only we weren't...affluent that it. Mom and Dad kept me in the Catholic Elementary School in the old neighborhood - so I went to school with one group of kids, lived near another and didn't fit in either place. There were no kids running around in the streets or jumping rope on the sidewalk...they played quietly in each other's back yards...and ignored me, the Italian Catholic girl who didn't go to their school. It hurt being snubbed regularly, but I learned to keep quiet and pretend to ignore it. At some point I made friends with three or four boys who attended the same Catholic school I did...Johnny Rebhann, Jimmy Grennen, Tommy McMahon and sometimes Kevin Heath Kevin was orphaned after a few years and went to live with relatives in Michigan. It felt so strange to have a friend with no parents. It was hard during the times when the boys would go through a "girls are yucky" stage - but they ultimately became the source of some limited experimentation (I hated being the "victim" of the "TV game" as the boys called it), my first kiss (Jimmy...I was 14 and devastated to later learn that the only reason he kissed me was to win a bet among them as to who could get kissed first; I tried to get him to "like" me for years after that) and my first boyfriend (Johnny...I was 14 and had had a crush on him since the second grade).
When I was eleven, Mom had a surprise pregnancy and I got a baby brother just before my twelfth birthday. It was exciting at first - brought out my nurturing qualities. I learned to change diapers, feed and burp and rarely went anywhere without the baby carriage. After a while it got old, but the bond was established...really more mother-child than big sister-little brother. It remains that way to this day.
Day to day life was not particularly memorable. Glen and I tended to stay out of Dad's way as his moods were volatile...though I was better at that than Glen was. For the few years that Amy was with us, I was enamoured of her life and crazy about her boyfriend, Richie. She introduced me to rock 'n' roll and taught me how to dance, but she left home when I was about ten.
As time went on, I made a few girlfriends...Nettie Roos, the Dutch only child whose Mom was six feet tall, rode every where on a bicycle and taught us how to do Eeeny, Meeny, Miney Moe in Dutch; Alene Zully, the oldest of five sisters was my friend in the sixth grade but then moved away to Oyster Bay; Carol Lee Pallin, my friend in the seventh and eighth grades, hung out with me and the boys and became Tommy's girlfriend for a little while.
High school days rolled around and things changed again. I found a Best Friend. Mary Anne Rotolo was a year behind me in school, but she lived in my neighborhood and went to the same Catholic HS I did. We became inseperable and were often taken for sisters with our dark Italian good looks and long black hair - only I am 5'3" and she is 5'10" - we were a female Mutt and Jeff! She was from a large family that welcomed me with open arms. I spent a lot of time there during my HS years and had a mad crush on her brother, Joey.
I lived in the house on Superior Road for fourteen years - from the time I was seven until the day of my wedding at age 21 - in the front upstairs bedroom with the ugly green and pink wallpaper and two windows overlooking the rooftop. I remember the pantry with the freezer big enough to hold a body, the red breakfast nook, the knotty pine all over the kitchen and basement, the brick fireplace that never saw a fire, the window seat in the foyer that held Dad's old books and the great big walk up attic that I loved to retreat to.
My parents sold the house and moved south decades ago, but I can still see the interior like it was yesterday. I have good memories and bad memories of those fourteen years...and more as I returned often with my babies to visit. Thanksgivings around the dining room table...and the trees on the dining room wallpaper. My grandparents all sitting out in lawn chairs in the backyard...conversation suspended every time a train went by. Glen and I in the yard waving at the engineers...cheering if they waved back. A slap in the face from Dad when I was fourteen - I didn't speak to him for a week and he never did it again. Mom bathing my new son in the kitchen sink. Dead birds in the chimmney and bugs in the carpet - I was glad to see the ugly green carpet go. So much green in that house, I did not use green in my own house for almost forty years! Grandmommy fallng in the basement and breaking her hip. My first baby shower held in the living room. A quickie with my fiance` in the basement when everyone else was asleep. The mailman shouting through the screen door when an airmail letter arrived for me from my Marine boyfriend. Guys subjected to the third degree when they came to take me on dates. Denting the rear corner of the house with Mom's car when I came up the driveway too fast - Mom thought it was an earthquake - I thought life as I knew it was over - but Dad was surpisingly calm about it. Hiding at the top of the stairs as a kid listening to Mom and Dad fight. The conversation in the kitchen when I told Mom and Dad I was getting married. And another conversation a few years later in the same kitchen, when they told me they were thinking about getting a divorce (the divorce never came to be). So many things helped shape the woman I am today...
...always hoping for a red caboose.
Life changed in the new neighbothood. It was quieter and more affluent - only we weren't...affluent that it. Mom and Dad kept me in the Catholic Elementary School in the old neighborhood - so I went to school with one group of kids, lived near another and didn't fit in either place. There were no kids running around in the streets or jumping rope on the sidewalk...they played quietly in each other's back yards...and ignored me, the Italian Catholic girl who didn't go to their school. It hurt being snubbed regularly, but I learned to keep quiet and pretend to ignore it. At some point I made friends with three or four boys who attended the same Catholic school I did...Johnny Rebhann, Jimmy Grennen, Tommy McMahon and sometimes Kevin Heath Kevin was orphaned after a few years and went to live with relatives in Michigan. It felt so strange to have a friend with no parents. It was hard during the times when the boys would go through a "girls are yucky" stage - but they ultimately became the source of some limited experimentation (I hated being the "victim" of the "TV game" as the boys called it), my first kiss (Jimmy...I was 14 and devastated to later learn that the only reason he kissed me was to win a bet among them as to who could get kissed first; I tried to get him to "like" me for years after that) and my first boyfriend (Johnny...I was 14 and had had a crush on him since the second grade).
When I was eleven, Mom had a surprise pregnancy and I got a baby brother just before my twelfth birthday. It was exciting at first - brought out my nurturing qualities. I learned to change diapers, feed and burp and rarely went anywhere without the baby carriage. After a while it got old, but the bond was established...really more mother-child than big sister-little brother. It remains that way to this day.
Day to day life was not particularly memorable. Glen and I tended to stay out of Dad's way as his moods were volatile...though I was better at that than Glen was. For the few years that Amy was with us, I was enamoured of her life and crazy about her boyfriend, Richie. She introduced me to rock 'n' roll and taught me how to dance, but she left home when I was about ten.
As time went on, I made a few girlfriends...Nettie Roos, the Dutch only child whose Mom was six feet tall, rode every where on a bicycle and taught us how to do Eeeny, Meeny, Miney Moe in Dutch; Alene Zully, the oldest of five sisters was my friend in the sixth grade but then moved away to Oyster Bay; Carol Lee Pallin, my friend in the seventh and eighth grades, hung out with me and the boys and became Tommy's girlfriend for a little while.
High school days rolled around and things changed again. I found a Best Friend. Mary Anne Rotolo was a year behind me in school, but she lived in my neighborhood and went to the same Catholic HS I did. We became inseperable and were often taken for sisters with our dark Italian good looks and long black hair - only I am 5'3" and she is 5'10" - we were a female Mutt and Jeff! She was from a large family that welcomed me with open arms. I spent a lot of time there during my HS years and had a mad crush on her brother, Joey.
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| 74 Superior Road Bellerose, New York |
My parents sold the house and moved south decades ago, but I can still see the interior like it was yesterday. I have good memories and bad memories of those fourteen years...and more as I returned often with my babies to visit. Thanksgivings around the dining room table...and the trees on the dining room wallpaper. My grandparents all sitting out in lawn chairs in the backyard...conversation suspended every time a train went by. Glen and I in the yard waving at the engineers...cheering if they waved back. A slap in the face from Dad when I was fourteen - I didn't speak to him for a week and he never did it again. Mom bathing my new son in the kitchen sink. Dead birds in the chimmney and bugs in the carpet - I was glad to see the ugly green carpet go. So much green in that house, I did not use green in my own house for almost forty years! Grandmommy fallng in the basement and breaking her hip. My first baby shower held in the living room. A quickie with my fiance` in the basement when everyone else was asleep. The mailman shouting through the screen door when an airmail letter arrived for me from my Marine boyfriend. Guys subjected to the third degree when they came to take me on dates. Denting the rear corner of the house with Mom's car when I came up the driveway too fast - Mom thought it was an earthquake - I thought life as I knew it was over - but Dad was surpisingly calm about it. Hiding at the top of the stairs as a kid listening to Mom and Dad fight. The conversation in the kitchen when I told Mom and Dad I was getting married. And another conversation a few years later in the same kitchen, when they told me they were thinking about getting a divorce (the divorce never came to be). So many things helped shape the woman I am today...
...always hoping for a red caboose.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
An Ending...
It's been along time since my last post and lots has happened. Actually, only one thing has happened, but it feels like lots. My relationship has ended.
We were together for over two years and we lived together for a year and eight months. Ending our relationship was a mutual decision. Turns out we are as different as night and day. In the beginning, we thought we had so much in common, but it seems we were looking at our common interests through rose-colored glasses. My niece, a therapist, pointed out that in new relationships commonalities tend to get blown out of proportion - "You like white? Wow, I like white, too!" Don't know if that's what happened with us, but the end result is the same. The relationship died slowly months ago; he moved out a couple of weeks ago.
We did have one true commonality - a love of family. We both place a high priority on family and on merging families. We created some good memories of family gatherings, times I will always remember and cherish. I can't speak for him, but I will miss those gatherings...and his family.
We were together for over two years and we lived together for a year and eight months. Ending our relationship was a mutual decision. Turns out we are as different as night and day. In the beginning, we thought we had so much in common, but it seems we were looking at our common interests through rose-colored glasses. My niece, a therapist, pointed out that in new relationships commonalities tend to get blown out of proportion - "You like white? Wow, I like white, too!" Don't know if that's what happened with us, but the end result is the same. The relationship died slowly months ago; he moved out a couple of weeks ago.
We did have one true commonality - a love of family. We both place a high priority on family and on merging families. We created some good memories of family gatherings, times I will always remember and cherish. I can't speak for him, but I will miss those gatherings...and his family.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Another Road Trip...
Just returned from another road trip. Went to Florida this time to visit family - Ed's brother Mike, his wife Lot, and kids Tony, Gina and Vinnie. They live on Merritt Island, just minutes from the beach. I often forget how much I like Florida till I arrive; there's nothing prettier than a row of stately palm trees silhouetted against a sunny blue sky. The landscape just shouts out, "Beach!"
We started out Monday and drove to Savannah, where we had a reservation in the Historic district. Spent some time walking along the river, bought some pralines (a favorite of mine), then headed to Uncle Bubba's for dinner. Uncle Bubba's Oyster House is situated outside town on a marsh; there was a wait for an inside table so we took one out on the deck. I was happily surprised to learn there are some resident cats in the vicinity of the deck and they will approach customers in the hopes of being fed. They were the highlight of my evening! Ed was more interestered in the grilled oysters, which came from Apalachicola and were very good! After the oysters and a seafood dip we split a "Full Bubba" - shrimp, scallops, oysters and catch of the day - and couldn't come close to finishing it. A nice evening in a favorite city!
Drove the rest of the way to Merritt Island the next day. We always have a good visit with Mike and Lot and this time was no exception. Lot's a great cook and they are both congenial hosts. I feel very at home there. Three year old Vinnie is a charmer and immediately jumped in the pool to show off his rather impressive swimming skills to Uncle Bud and Aunt Gail.
The plan was to just relax and visit. Henry, their other brother, was coming over from the Gulf side for a visit on Thursday. We would relax around the pool and feast on shrimp. Unfortunately, Henry had a stroke on Wednesday! After a flurry of phone calls to gather information and let other family members know, we made a plan to drive across state to see Henry. The trip was an arduous one; Mike got lost at least three times, making the three hour drive in only four and a half hours! On the upside, Vinnie traveled like a trooper, never once getting whiney or cranky. Most importanly, we saw Henry - he is recovering, the few symptoms he has are expected to resolve and he returned home on Saturday.
We returned home to NC on Friday and have been spending the weekend with Ed's boys. Tim and Alex came down from Michigan and NY to celebrate Tim's birthday, which means lots of good meals at both Mark's house and ours!
We're already planning our next trip to Merritt Island...for Thanksgiving.
We started out Monday and drove to Savannah, where we had a reservation in the Historic district. Spent some time walking along the river, bought some pralines (a favorite of mine), then headed to Uncle Bubba's for dinner. Uncle Bubba's Oyster House is situated outside town on a marsh; there was a wait for an inside table so we took one out on the deck. I was happily surprised to learn there are some resident cats in the vicinity of the deck and they will approach customers in the hopes of being fed. They were the highlight of my evening! Ed was more interestered in the grilled oysters, which came from Apalachicola and were very good! After the oysters and a seafood dip we split a "Full Bubba" - shrimp, scallops, oysters and catch of the day - and couldn't come close to finishing it. A nice evening in a favorite city!
Drove the rest of the way to Merritt Island the next day. We always have a good visit with Mike and Lot and this time was no exception. Lot's a great cook and they are both congenial hosts. I feel very at home there. Three year old Vinnie is a charmer and immediately jumped in the pool to show off his rather impressive swimming skills to Uncle Bud and Aunt Gail.
The plan was to just relax and visit. Henry, their other brother, was coming over from the Gulf side for a visit on Thursday. We would relax around the pool and feast on shrimp. Unfortunately, Henry had a stroke on Wednesday! After a flurry of phone calls to gather information and let other family members know, we made a plan to drive across state to see Henry. The trip was an arduous one; Mike got lost at least three times, making the three hour drive in only four and a half hours! On the upside, Vinnie traveled like a trooper, never once getting whiney or cranky. Most importanly, we saw Henry - he is recovering, the few symptoms he has are expected to resolve and he returned home on Saturday.
We returned home to NC on Friday and have been spending the weekend with Ed's boys. Tim and Alex came down from Michigan and NY to celebrate Tim's birthday, which means lots of good meals at both Mark's house and ours!
We're already planning our next trip to Merritt Island...for Thanksgiving.
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