Brother #1 and I spent yesterday going through my late parents' condo one last time before Habitat comes to pick up the furniture. Brother #2 is recovering from a recent surgery.
It has been slow going. Mom and Dad died 16 months ago - within a few days of each other. It took some time before any of us were ready to face their place. We eventually made some trips there, sorted through some things, claimed various mementos, but life kept getting in the way and slowing down our progress. We're finally down to the nitty-gritty - emptying the place out, getting estimates for painting and flooring so we can sell.
Every time I go up there, it makes me sad. Not just because I've lost my parents, but because this whole process seems to reduce one's life to a pile of things - many of which seem destined for the trash. Each time we sibs gather at their place to sort and clean out, it feels like I'm throwing away my parents' lives.
We spend our lives accumulating things - then our children have to go through the pain of cleaning it all out. Certainly there are emotionally valuable mementos...photos, military keepsakes, jewelry, cards and letters, individual items that go back to our childhood...but these are a small part of the large collection that comes from 90 years of living. The rest gets donated...or trashed.
This experience has gotten me thinking. I don't want my kids to go through this when I'm gone. There's no escaping that they'll have to do some sorting and cleaning, but maybe I can minimize it. I hope I have another thirty years left - it's time to start lightening my load...
