On Being Unemployed...

Unless one lives in a cave...or on another planet, the economy is the story.  Joblessness is at an all time high, foreclosures are rampant and a majority of people are "upside down" on their mortgages.  We all know someone who has been affected.

I am one.  I got "laid off" a year ago.  Was told that the company numbers couldn't justify two RNs in our department and I was being let go.  It sounds like they are doing you a favor, we're "letting" you go...so much nicer than "you don't have a job anymore."

Being unemployed evokes so many different emotions.  Disbelief, hurt, anger, fear, for starters.  It deflates one's confidence and shatters self-esteem.  I am useless, no one values me, I contribute nothing, I accomplish nothing.  I send in resume after resume, apply to job after job...most don't even bother to reply.  A few say thanks but no thanks and fewer sill want an interview.  The phrase one hears most often is "the response was huge."  It is one rejection after another, "We have selected another candidate."  You get close sometimes, but success is elusive.

Then there are the financial worries.  Unemployment is available as well as the much welcomed emergency extensions, but it isn't equivilent to lost income and doesn't cover all the bills...so every month the hole gets a bit deeper.  I own a home but, like most people today, I bought when the market was high and am now upside down.  Renting would be less costly, but selling is not an option.

There are upsides.  Plenty of free time and flexibility, no alarm clocks...a leisurely life with time for family, travel and activities.  I've done lots of traveling over the past year, entertained houseguests and spent quality time with my grandkids...and enjoyed it all.

Sometimes I like not having to go to work; other times I am quite bored and lonely.  I often worry about money...how deep is the hole getting...what happens when my health insurance comes to an end?  I notice that my confidence in my ability to do a job is waning and I don't like that.  I've always been proud of my ability to support myself and now that's no longer true; something else I don't like.

I'm entering the second tier of emergency unemployment benefits, trying to enjoy my life, visiting doctors while my COBRA is still in effect, submitting resumes and applications...and keeping hope alive.

San Francisco, Returning Home and Clogged Pipes...

Back from my San Francisco trip for two days...and the bathroom pipes clogged again.  Steve - my good-looking plumber - came by, unclogged the pipes and once again refused payment.  He's going to come back next week with a camera and see if he can find the root of the problem.  There's got to be a reason the pipes keep clogging.  I hope we can get this taken care of...I can't keep calling him every few days and he can't keep unclogging my pipes gratis.

San Francisco was nice.  Visited the Castro District and enjoyed the Different Lights Bookstore; went to Chinatown to eat Dim Sum and to North Beach to eat Italian.   Traipsed through the rain to the Japanese Tea Garden, had some tea and met a delightful young man from the Netherlands.

Johan was in the states on business and enjoying the sights.  He is 32, single and fluent in Dutch, English and German with a smattering of French.  He recently met a very nice young lady online named Eva and was hoping the separation would not thwart a budding romance as the eight hour time difference made communication difficult.  As we sat and shared stories of hopeful romance found online, I found myself wondering if an American that age would be as comfortable chatting with a sixty year old woman as he was.

Also visited the famed City Lights Bookstore, prowled the Ferry Building on the Embarcadero, walked Fisherman's Wharf and Ghiradelli Square, rode the trolleys and the cable cars, and toured Alcatraz as described in my previous post.  It rained a lot and the temps stayed between forty-five and sixty.

It was a nice trip, but I was ready to come home.  Rather unusual for me.  I'm usually gypsy-like and never quite ready to go home.  This time was different.  I learned that, while I love to travel, who I am with matters more than where I go and the person I really wanted to be with was back home.

Visiting the Rock...

Took a night tour of Alcatraz tonight.  It began with a rather chilly ferry ride to the island.  The water was choppy and the winds high and I was wishing I had packed gloves and a scarf for this trip.  The island is rather forbidding looking when approached and it is easy to believe that "no one escapes from Alcatraz."  After disembarking we are led up to the main cell house.  It is a one quarter mile walk and the equivalent of a thirteen story climb.  No surprise that my legs ache and I'm winded.

Once in the main prison, we are issued headsets for a guided audio tour. The narration tells you where to walk, which way to turn next, what to look at and recounts Alcatraz's history complete with sound effects and the reminiscences of guards and prisoners.  I see the shower room, the library, the dining hall, several cell blocks, isolation cells, solitary confinement cells, cells that were broken out of during the great escape, the administration wing, the warden's office, the visitation area and holes in the floor from military mortar fired during a hostage taking episode that left a number of guards and prisoners dead.  I step into a regular cell and into a dark solitary confinement cell.  The whole place has a spooky feel.  Stories are retold about daily life as well as uprisings, infamous prisoners and escape attempts.  One can hear cell doors slam and lock, sirens going off and prisoners yelling during this forty-five minute tour.  It makes me want to learn more about the history of this forbidding place.

As most tours do, this one ends at the gift/souvenir shop, where I decide I must have the Alcatraz salt and pepper shakers!  Then a quarter mile hike back down to the docks, a ferry ride across the bay and a return to a comfortable hotel room.

Definitely a tour worth taking.

California, Here I Come...

I am writing this en route to San Francisco in a word document and will cut and paste later. Thirteen dollars for mile-high Wifi is skyway robbery. It is amazing (at least to me) how many people aboard have their laptops and are connected to the Internet; am I the only one who thinks the price is outrageous? It is a very full flight and I’m stuck in a middle seat. I’d probably pay thirteen dollars for the opportunity to put my legs up and stretch out!

The movie service is spotty at best and it’s a British period piece so most of the dialogue would be lost on me without my beloved closed captioning. I suppose I could take a nap, it’s 12:30 am Eastern Time, but only 9:30 pm Pacific Time and I want to sleep well tonight. I’ve read one hundred pages of my current novel, played five games of computer Solitaire (won one), two games of Free Cell (won one), had two packs of cookies and two Coke Zeros.

Are we there yet???

A Visit To PA...

Went up to Pennsylvania a couple of weeks ago to visit my niece Laura and her family.  It was a real family weekend...basketball practice, basketball games, birthday parties, piano lessons, gymnastics meets, family bowling.  It's been a lot of years since I lived life at that pace!  It was exhausting, but loads of fun.  I loved watching John and Eric at all their activities.  Each visit I get to know them a little better...still have lots of years to catch up on.  Laura's husband Martin continues to impress me with his kindness and devotion to his family...I look forward to knowing him better too as time goes on.

Laura planned a family lunch to celebrate John's recent eleventh birthday. Laura's Aunt Nancy and Uncle Roger joined us as well as my sister Amy, so we had the opportunity to visit for a couple of hours.

This visit brought with it another reunion.  I saw my niece Jill (Laura's sister) for the first time in forty years!  Needless to say she's changed a lot since she was six!!  She was in town visiting...combining a work trip with pleasure...from Colorado.  She is a warm, friendly, beautiful, high energy woman.  It felt so good to see her and hug her after all these years and to rekindle the family connection.

Of course I aways enjoy my one-on-one time with Laura...she's more like a second daughter to me than a niece. We are alike in ways and provide great sounding boards to each other. I was able to get some good perspectives on my current "man situation" from both the therapist side of her and the niece side.

Every time I visit I am swept into another pocket of family...one I have been away from for a long time.  I love it!

The Plumber Returns...

After three days of swiftly flowing water, the bathroom clog came back...and so did Steve, my new plumber.  Again, the drains stopped flowing late in the evening...on Tuesday this time.  I called Steve Wednesday and he added me to his workday list.  He arrived about seven pm, had things flowing smoothly in an hour and didn't charge me a cent.  He said the clog was further down in the line than before and that if it comes back it may indicate a more serious problem...perhaps in the pipe construction.

I'm just going to keep flushing and hope for the best.

My New Plumber...

This hasn't been one of my better weekends.  I've been dating two men for a while and they were both going to be out of town for the weekend.  So...I was going to spend most of Saturday with Becca and my grandkids.  Two soccer games, some errands and a trip to the frozen yogurt bar was the plan.  Instead I found a new plumber.

The bathroom drain that serves both toilets, the tub, and the shower, clogged.  Noticed it around midnight Friday...thought it was minor and went to work with the plunger, but no luck.  Tried again in the morning with the same result.  Becca was able to get me a recommendation of a plumber from J's soccer coach and I called him.  He arrived about noon and worked till three.  He said it was one of the worst clogs he's ever seen!  On the bright side...he cleaned up after himself and only charged me $90.  Roto Rooter would've been aroung $200...definitely a good recommendation from the soccer coach!

I did get out in time to meet Becca and the kids for frozen yogurt...I had the Reese's Puffs flavor.