July...

As usual, July has been a busy month. It is chock full of birthdays - in calendar order - Jack was 64, Michael was 38, Davis was 41 and Becca was 36.  Then there was Ken's yearly beach vacation visit.  We had a good time...as always.  The past two summers Ed was living here and did lots of cooking while they visited.  Prior to that we used to eat out most of the time.  This year was a combo of both - I did some cooking and we did some eating out.

The little cousins spent lots of time together, especially Katie and Ciera.  There were sleepovers in both directions and a trip to the theater with the girls to see Annie. Jackson spent that day with Daddy, while Ken and Matthew detailed my car (a great bonus!). Matthew went off on his own the first few days to hang with some college buddies.  Hard to believe he's twenty now.

We put in lots of beach and pool time.  The girls are becoming excellent swimmers and Jackson is getting braver about trying out his skills.  Katie even managed to coerce Grandma into going down the waterslide at the pool!  Ken took a picture, so my awkward plunge is preserved for posterity!  Jack spent a pool day with us and met Ken and the kids, while Katie and Jackson wore him out in the pool.  We can still hear Jackson calling out, "Mr. Jack! Mr. Jack!"

I've turned into a real beach grandma this summer and am sporting the best tan I've had in decades!  Becca has asked me several times if I am trying to give myself skin cancer.  I do protect my face, but haven't been as careful with the rest of me.  Have to admit I like the color on my arms and legs.

This Saturday Becca and Davis have a wedding in SC, so Katie and Jackson will spend the weekend with Grandma.   

I'm still anticipating visits from Glen and from my niece Laura and her family.  Ken has talked about coming down again, and Jack's sister will be in the area in a few weeks, as well as an old girlfriend of mine from high school.  Hard to say just what August will bring...

Motherhood...

Thirty-eight years ago tonight I became a mother for the first time.  At 11:37 PM to be exact.  I was twenty-three years old and as naive as any twenty-three year old could be.  I had no idea what lay ahead.  I was tired and sore from pushing a nine pound baby out of my petite body; every second of the experience indelibly etched into my memory.   I can remember that it was painful, but I can no longer remember what the pain felt like.  Natural childbirth was still in the pioneer stages and I was proud to be a participant.

Now I feel like an old hand at motherhood.  I've raised two babies into adulthood and have two grandchildren.  I can see the many mistakes I made and recognize good parenting when I see it.  The things that scared me the most turned out to be insignificant and the really big stuff sometimes sneaked by.  There is an old saying to the effect that when children are small they step on a mother's toes and when they are grown they step on her heart.  I saw the veracity of that increase as the years went by.

I found a sentiment in a Hallmark card when my daughter was pregnant that said, "Motherhood is having your heart walk around outside your body."  An excellent description if there ever was one - nothing can bring greater joy or greater pain than motherhood.  When her children are cut, a mother bleeds; when they are hurt, she cries; when they are happy, she feels joy;  when they remember her, she is euphoric; when they forget, she is anguished and if their lives should be cut short, she dies.  Only in Motherhood does unconditional love truly exist.

I have learned much over the years, made mistakes galore, loved with all my heart and then some and had my heart pierced a time or two.  It's a thankless job with great rewards and, while I would do a few things differently if given the chance, I wouldn't trade the experience for all the riches in the world.