Thirty-eight years ago tonight I became a mother for the first time. At 11:37 PM to be exact. I was twenty-three years old and as naive as any twenty-three year old could be. I had no idea what lay ahead. I was tired and sore from pushing a nine pound baby out of my petite body; every second of the experience indelibly etched into my memory. I can remember that it was painful, but I can no longer remember what the pain felt like. Natural childbirth was still in the pioneer stages and I was proud to be a participant.
Now I feel like an old hand at motherhood. I've raised two babies into adulthood and have two grandchildren. I can see the many mistakes I made and recognize good parenting when I see it. The things that scared me the most turned out to be insignificant and the really big stuff sometimes sneaked by. There is an old saying to the effect that when children are small they step on a mother's toes and when they are grown they step on her heart. I saw the veracity of that increase as the years went by.
I found a sentiment in a Hallmark card when my daughter was pregnant that said, "Motherhood is having your heart walk around outside your body." An excellent description if there ever was one - nothing can bring greater joy or greater pain than motherhood. When her children are cut, a mother bleeds; when they are hurt, she cries; when they are happy, she feels joy; when they remember her, she is euphoric; when they forget, she is anguished and if their lives should be cut short, she dies. Only in Motherhood does unconditional love truly exist.
I have learned much over the years, made mistakes galore, loved with all my heart and then some and had my heart pierced a time or two. It's a thankless job with great rewards and, while I would do a few things differently if given the chance, I wouldn't trade the experience for all the riches in the world.
